The New Paris Hilton,
Well, well, Paris; it would seem that after many years of wild parties, sex escapades, and neglect of integrity; there are now rumors as to what is about to become a New Paris Hilton unveiled to the public. It seems that your current manager has been aware of your increase in negative popularity with that of your fan base, and has been working on a secret strategy to pull you out of the trenches, and back upon your porcelain thrown from which you climbed out of. I wish you would let us know as to when these changes are to be taken place; I am very curious. Your current Manager, Jacques Baudrillard, was recently quoted with a bold prediction as to the outcome of this plan.
“We feel confident that once people see this new Paris Hilton they will say, ‘Paris Hilton, now I could have a good time in that.”
Most surprising to me, was the extent to your deterioration that I had heard rumors of, but quite honestly would not have believed; if I hadn’t heard these quotes from Jacques himself.
“The old Paris Hilton had faded and people were being driven away by her in droves by the sight and smell of her.”
Also mentioned were,
“…multiple internal issues… leakages… and the entrances, both front and rear, being ill-suited for the amount of people coming and going.”
I am especially curious to see the enhancements that were specifically mentioned, although not described to the detail that I am sure I will soon see in any upcoming photo and video scandals you have in the works. I am speaking specifically to the newly enhanced exterior and the larger rear entranceway that is boasted to withstand the impact of heavy delivery. As a side note, the bush located within the front entrance has also been noted to have been decoratively trimmed, although the last I had seen that old trick had already been attempted, and failed.
I do wish you luck in keeping the determination and stamina to complete the overall transformation, as I know you still have a ways to go, as was quoted by Jacques.
“Paris Hilton is far from complete. So far we have only tackled her exterior and internal problematic areas. The next phase will be to add some sophistication and class to the old girl.”
Alls I can say to you Paris is good luck on that one; you’re going to need it!
P.S. I have already booked a reservation with you, and look very much forward to being one of the first ones to stick my foot into that new rear entranceway!
“We feel confident that once people see this new Paris Hilton they will say, ‘Paris Hilton, now I could have a good time in that.”
Most surprising to me, was the extent to your deterioration that I had heard rumors of, but quite honestly would not have believed; if I hadn’t heard these quotes from Jacques himself.
“The old Paris Hilton had faded and people were being driven away by her in droves by the sight and smell of her.”
Also mentioned were,
“…multiple internal issues… leakages… and the entrances, both front and rear, being ill-suited for the amount of people coming and going.”
I am especially curious to see the enhancements that were specifically mentioned, although not described to the detail that I am sure I will soon see in any upcoming photo and video scandals you have in the works. I am speaking specifically to the newly enhanced exterior and the larger rear entranceway that is boasted to withstand the impact of heavy delivery. As a side note, the bush located within the front entrance has also been noted to have been decoratively trimmed, although the last I had seen that old trick had already been attempted, and failed.
I do wish you luck in keeping the determination and stamina to complete the overall transformation, as I know you still have a ways to go, as was quoted by Jacques.
“Paris Hilton is far from complete. So far we have only tackled her exterior and internal problematic areas. The next phase will be to add some sophistication and class to the old girl.”
Alls I can say to you Paris is good luck on that one; you’re going to need it!
P.S. I have already booked a reservation with you, and look very much forward to being one of the first ones to stick my foot into that new rear entranceway!
posted by Eric J. at 12:45 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home