Type B personalities vs. The Type A's
Have you ever wanted to take a Louisville Slugger to one of those self-checkouts at the grocery store? If you answered yes, then you are certainly not alone. What is the purpose for these contraptions? Is it a ploy to save money on cashier wages? Is it to teach us the fine art of item scanning? Maybe it is simply just a way to speed up the whole checkout process...
The problem with its whole idea is that there is nobody who really knows how to work these things, including the stores clerks themselves. And even if you did figure out the basics, no matter how carefully you place every item in the bag, the computer can never read the weight properly and freezes up with every item or two. Then you have to wait five minutes for a confused clerk to clear the situation and get you scanning and bagging again. This whole scenario repeats itself over and over and over, until you either pass out from hypertension or actually get that last item okayed and in the bag.
Okay, I am now going to let you all in on a little known secret.
The self-checkout is actually designed purely for the Type A personality. If you are a Type B, then do not even bother with these. They are not designed for you, and they will most certainly not save time. Let me explain the logic behind this nifty yet often misunderstood check system.
You know those type A’s that tailgate and practically run you down on the highway, until they get just a few inches of room to cut you off; only to end up stuck in front of you in the traffic jam instead of behind you. Well these are just the individuals that the self-check out was designed for. As long as you keep these people busy with things and believing that they are in charge of everything, they can be a tolerable part of our society.
In other words it is basically a tolerability check system designed to keep these aggressive, rude, busybodies bitching at a machine rather than the rest of us easy-going souls. Armed with this knowledge, your next visit to the grocery store should be a much more pleasant and efficient experience. Can I get an “amen” from all of you Type B’s out there?
Speaking of Type B’s, I know that I may not be one to talk, but you all need to scoop that Godzilla sized dump out of your pants when you are shopping the malls. Some of us have places to be, items to see, and are a little short on the parking meter fee. Have you noticed these people standing in the aisles staring into the shops as if they were at the zoo watching three spider monkeys named Larry, Curly, and Moe splat feces on each other’s heads? Hello! Get out of the way… Please! Can I get an “amen” from all of you Type A’s out there? Okay, I don’t really feel that way, but now that I have given you Type A’s the last word. Quit your bitchin’!
The problem with its whole idea is that there is nobody who really knows how to work these things, including the stores clerks themselves. And even if you did figure out the basics, no matter how carefully you place every item in the bag, the computer can never read the weight properly and freezes up with every item or two. Then you have to wait five minutes for a confused clerk to clear the situation and get you scanning and bagging again. This whole scenario repeats itself over and over and over, until you either pass out from hypertension or actually get that last item okayed and in the bag.
Okay, I am now going to let you all in on a little known secret.
The self-checkout is actually designed purely for the Type A personality. If you are a Type B, then do not even bother with these. They are not designed for you, and they will most certainly not save time. Let me explain the logic behind this nifty yet often misunderstood check system.
You know those type A’s that tailgate and practically run you down on the highway, until they get just a few inches of room to cut you off; only to end up stuck in front of you in the traffic jam instead of behind you. Well these are just the individuals that the self-check out was designed for. As long as you keep these people busy with things and believing that they are in charge of everything, they can be a tolerable part of our society.
In other words it is basically a tolerability check system designed to keep these aggressive, rude, busybodies bitching at a machine rather than the rest of us easy-going souls. Armed with this knowledge, your next visit to the grocery store should be a much more pleasant and efficient experience. Can I get an “amen” from all of you Type B’s out there?
Speaking of Type B’s, I know that I may not be one to talk, but you all need to scoop that Godzilla sized dump out of your pants when you are shopping the malls. Some of us have places to be, items to see, and are a little short on the parking meter fee. Have you noticed these people standing in the aisles staring into the shops as if they were at the zoo watching three spider monkeys named Larry, Curly, and Moe splat feces on each other’s heads? Hello! Get out of the way… Please! Can I get an “amen” from all of you Type A’s out there? Okay, I don’t really feel that way, but now that I have given you Type A’s the last word. Quit your bitchin’!
posted by Eric J. at 4:18 AM
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